Aku Ingat Hari

Aku ingat hari dimana aku terlalu bersemangat menyuarakan keceriaan masa muda

Aku ingat hari dimana kita berebut membanyakkan daftar mimpi

aku ingat hari saat saling meneriaki diri sebagai calon pemenang

aku ingat hari dimana kita benar – benar percaya saat tak ada satu pun pemberi kepastian

aku ingat hari dimana lingkar mata semakin menghitam karena lelah

aku ingat hari dimana seringkali dalam sujud kudengar lirih isakmu

aku ingat hari kala kita memandang betapa susunan kata -kata itu tetap sama

aku ingat hari dimana kita seringkali menghadapi seorang pembunuh bernama kenyataan

aku ingat hari kala kita merasa benar – benar ingin mati dan berhenti

aku ingat hari dimana seringkali tak ada yang dapat kita lakukan selain saling menghapus airmata

aku ingat hari saat aku sangat ingin berlari menujumu, memelukmu dan sambil menangis mengatakan “aku ingin menyerah.”

aku ingat hari dimana kau menggenggam erat jemariku dan mengatakan “semua baik – baik saja”

aku ingat hari saat tertawa pun kita tak sempat

aku ingat hari saat aku tak lagi menyukai cerita kematian Heraklius yang konyol

aku ingat hari saat kita lebih suka menulis daripada melukis

aku ingat hari dimana hari demi hari berubah lemonade, blush, ochre, yellow, mustard, gold hingga menuju pumpkin

aku ingat hari saat sisa – sisa kepercayaan itu masih benar – benar kita pegang

aku ingat hari bahwa kita sadar, kita adalah manusia hebat yang mampu bertahan sejauh ini

aku ingat hari dimana dengan tiba – tiba rasanya ingin belajar bermain sepeda seperti dulu, denganmu Ayah

aku ingat hari saat malu itu muncul untuk sekedar merengek kepadamu meminta kembang api seperti dulu

dan hari itu pun aku ingat, aku telah menua…

Kau bilang “kau masih gadis kecilku.”

sungguh Ayah, aku ingin mengatakan, “Andai aku menjadi gadis kecilmu selamanya.”

dan Kau menjawab, “Ya, kau bisa.”

Kemudian kita terdiam Ayah, lalu tertawa serempak, kita hanya sadar, bahwa betapa pun kau akan membela perkataanku, aku tetaplah menua. Dan ternyata Tuhan memberiku hadiah sebuah perasaan, bahwa menjadi dewasa itu lebih indah.


#Hujan membuka hari ke 23 dengan indah, saat menulis ini ibuk sms, tepat pukul 00:05, Barakallah fii umrik, wa barakah fii ilmik, wa barakah fii rizqik, aamiin #kengen ibuk, pengen pulang T.T

Even Now

Even now when there's someone else who cares

When there's someone home who's waiting just for me

Even now I think about you as  I'm climbin' up the stairs

And I wonder what to do so she won't see

That even now when I know it wasn't right

And I've found a better life than what we had

Even now I wake up cryin' in the middle of the night

And I can't believe it still could hurt so bad
Even now when I have come so farI wonder where you are,

 I wonder why it's still so hard without you

Even now when I come shining through, I swear I think of you

And how I wish you knew, even now

Even now when I never hear your name

And the world has changed so much since you've been gone

Even now I still remember and the feeling's still the same

And this pain inside of me goes on and on, even now

Even now when I have come so far

I wonder where you are

I wonder why it's still so hard without you

Even now when I come shinin' throughI swear I think of you and God,

 I wish you knew

Somehow, even now

Barry Manilow

#backsound yang dipakai Anis Matta dalam Cinta tanpa Definisi

Ayah

me & devi

Ayah menatapku dua jenak, lalu senyum terkembang di bibirnya. “Kau terlihat seperti wanita dewasa.” Katanya kemudian, kutahan airmataku agar tak rompal terjatuh. Ku yakin, ayah menguat – kuatkan hatinya pula. “Ayah,” Hanya itu kata yang berhasil keluar dari mulutku, kelu sekali, seperti seluruh gerahamku menyatu. “Pergilah.” Lalu pecahlah tangisku, ku peluk ayah erat sekali malam itu. Aku bingung mengapa rasanya menjadi berlebihan seperti itu. Bahwa bagiku, tidak ada tangan pundak sekokoh pundak ayah, bahwa tidak ada yang sehangat genggaman ayah. Aku tidak tahu bagaimana cara mencintai laki – laki selain ayah. Aku belum membayangkan tangan yang akan mengenggamku ketika aku kedinginan adalah bukan telapak tangan ayah yang kasar namun sangat hangat.

Ini untuk devi, my deskmate…kaget banget waktu dapat sms “Put, aku mau married.” Ha? nggak nyangka (nggak nyangka aku diduluin :D). Yah, kenal ketika semester akhir – akhir saat nggak sempet banyak bermain, hanya si rajin macam devi banyak membawa perubahan. Kangen kamu dev. kangen beli cilot, aku isi urat, kamu isi telur. Kangen godain kamu yang nggak bisa bilang “s”, bisanya “ts” hara – hara pas waktu kecil sama guru TPA suruh ngapalin “tsa” sampai bener. Kangen beli bakso sama es pleret di alun2, kangen kamu nasehatin kaya dulu. Dan tiba – tiba, kamu berubah menjadi permainsuri. Barakallahulakuma wa barakah ‘alaikuma bil khair…Doain aku segera nyusul, hehe

this's mine, where's yours?

I bet everyone has places that they really want to go…whether they realize it or not. So do I, I have many places that I hope one day I will wander there. Buy some meals and take many photos. So…this is mine…

 

Like many muslims, I also really want to go Makkah. A place where my Prophet has born and start to perform his risalah. A place that makes many people in the world spending their savings money for doing ibadah hajji. Despite I don’t know when I will go there, but really, someday I will (inshaallah)

Sydney, New South Wales

I don’t understand, what is in that city, whether I will find my prince over there or not, but there’s pressing my heart to fulfill my pretension, I want to take many photos with various pose in front of Sydney Opera House, I want to take a walk on the Sydney Bridge Harbour, and let my Jilbab swings because of blast of wind. I want to play the sand in the Bondy beach and walking on oxford street. This a place where I want to continuo my study. Despite I don’t know when I will go there, but really, someday I will (inshaallah)

 

Turkey

This is a place where you can taking a lunch in Asia and having dinner at an Europe restaurant. This is place where khilafah Islamiyah ever victorious many centuries ago. I want to visit Haiga Shopia and come to blue mosque…I don’t have many reason but I really want to go.

 

Palestina

Muslims are like a body, when some part feels injury some other will respect. If Allah give me a chance, I want to to Palestina, I want to tell the Palestinian for never sad, because Allah has prepared a bautiful place to then in Jannah. I want to read al – Quran with them, I want to take a pray and crying out loud with them. T.T

 

Freiburg

I don’t like many places in Auropa and America, but if you ask me to answer where a place in Auropa that I want to go, the answer is Freiburg. I don’t know, but to me. my first sight to Friburg is just kinda dazzling. I have a friend who studies at German and he said to me that Freiburg is truly amazing,

 

Jeju Island, South Korea

a part in my mind that there’s a little stupid things is….if I watch a movie and I like a main actor, I will like whatever which related to that movie. It’s include Jeju. I know Jeju after I watching Lie to Me. It’s a crazy things but I bet that everyone will say that Jeju is more than beautiful place.

i still have many others, but my time has over to tell all of that, i hope someday i could continou my story. So do you, i want to hear, where's the place you want to go.

Now...i will do my homework again and again. i have headache, maybe it's because i was doing many works outside of normal. I hope holyday will come fastly...